Monday, January 7, 2013

What's up with "J"?

It has been so long since I have posted that I'm sure you are wondering what exactly is going on with our little foster son "J"!

He is still with us and we anticipate he will be with us until at least spring.  At the beginning of December we were invited to attend a court hearing which was meant to determine if he was in the correct placement or if he should be moved back or to a different place.

I found it very interesting how the courts work.  The case workers are not allowed to share information with us, but court is open to anyone and a TON of very personal information can come out! 

They talked about where J was placed right now and how things were going.  Both the lawyer and our case worker commented on my relationship with the baby,my relationship with his biological mom, and my follow through with appointments and doctors and such.  I wasn't expecting that and was happy to hear some positive feedback.(and glad I was on top of everything!)  I also wasn't expecting the opportunity to talk in court!  The judge asked if I was present and asked if I had anything to say.  I declined and when I later told Ry this had happened, he was shocked I didn't take over the court!  (there really was no need... things were going the way I had hoped ;) - this little guy has a lot of people on his side!)

In the end, the judge ordered some things to occur which fall on my shoulders, but they had all been things that I wanted to happen for J.  She just made it much easier for me by allowing me to be able to say that it had been "court ordered" so do it!

We go back to court again at the end of next month.  I know already what I want to happen there, but we'll see!  Watch out if they give me the chance to speak again! ;)

So we continue right along!  J is making leaps and bounds!  He is not the same little guy who moved in three months ago!  He is definitely bonded to me and I often pause and think why in the world did I want him to act like the other three kids did at his age - you know the throwing tantrums (which he really has down cold now) the following me around and crying to be held,  the showing of frustration by verbalizing loudly when not understood - you know all those enduring things that toddlers do that are perfectly developmentally normal!  And no, he was not doing those things a few months ago so yes, these are good signs and I celebrated the first, second, and third times he demonstrated those behaviors! (silly me!  I probably don't have to tell you I don't rejoice any longer)  He understands most of what we say to him and can follow a one step command.  He has some signs that he uses to help get his wants and needs met.  We are getting help with his speech and will be going to an ENT soon as well.

My weeks are full of appointments for this little guy so if you have wondered what has occupied all of my time - well that would be it!  He is my full time job!  It isn't always a rewarding one and sometimes it doesn't come with a break during the day, but when you see that little smile and get a hug and a snuggle from a little one who previously wouldn't sit on your lap, you remember to rejoice all those little things (even the negative ones) that you may otherwise take for granted!