Friday, October 26, 2012

Baby Mama

Yesterday I met JJ's mom.

When we adopted Lola I honestly was a bit relieved that I wouldn't have to figure how to incorporate her birth mom in our lives.  We do talk about her birth mom and look at pictures often.  Lola likes to hear stories about when we went to Guatemala to bring her home and in time if she would like to find her birth mom we will do everything possible to make that happen.  However, right now it is nice not to have to figure out how we would include her birth mom in our day to day lives. (even though I'm sure we would be fine finding a balance)

When the teenage boys were here we didn't have to contend with moms either.  They were only a phone call away, but were not a big part in the lives of the boys.

With being a foster parent of a child born here in the states things are much different when it comes to the birth mom.  When we had our training to be licensed to be a foster parent I didn't pay too much attention to the information about visitation with birth parents.  I should have known myself well enough to know that I shouldn't have dismissed information I thought didn't relate to me!  It seems that if something crazy or unexpected could happen I would be a likely target for it!

At any rate, we now will be incorporating JJ's birth mom into our lives.  Really, I will be incorporating his birth mom into his life and my life!  We will either be going to see her three times a week for an hour at a time or two times a week for an hour and half at a time while the rest of the family is in school or at work.  I can not say that I am thrilled to be driving 30 minutes each way to hang out in a waiting room while JJ plays, but on the positive side it will be good for him and I will get a tiny break and a chance to read my book that has been sitting on the table for the last two weeks!

Yesterday, I wasn't sure how to respond or interact.  When JJ runs down the hall who should go chase after him?  It was just a little hard to gage what every one's roles were in that situation.  What makes it even more awkward is that we speak different languages!  I'm not sure yet if that is a good thing or a bad thing!  I'm sure with time we will get used to the situation (that fact alone is really very sad) and find our places.

Anyone have any good tips about this?  Do I share things we do with him?  Give her pictures?  Or just stay quiet and let her ask me things?

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